Sample Strong Supplemental Essay for College Admissions

The supplemental essays for college admissions can be a stumbling point for applicants. Many students put significant time into their longer personal statement but then rush off the shorter supplemental section of the application. A typical result can produce a  weak supplemental essay. The strong essay below was written in response to the application to Duke Universitys Trinity College. The guidelines for the optional supplemental essay ask, If you are applying to Trinity College of Arts and Sciences, please discuss why you consider Duke a good match for you. Is there something in particular at Duke that attracts you? Please limit your response to one or two paragraphs. Example Strong Supplemental Essay The question asked here is typical of many supplemental essays. Essentially, the admissions folks want to know why their school is of particular interest to you. When I visited the Duke campus last fall, I immediately felt at home. The Gothic architecture and tree-shaded walks created an atmosphere of peaceful but serious reflection. The place is at once Southern — which, as an Alabamian, is important to me — and universal as it reflects the traditions of Europe and the classical world. The Trinity College liberal arts curriculum also reflects this unique pairing of the modern South and the global past. For example, I am considering a major in history, and am very interested in the combination of geographic and thematic areas of study offered by Duke’s history program. The combinations of areas offer seeming endless areas of specialization. One interesting possibility is a focus in the geographic area of the U.S. and Canada, combined with a thematic study of Women and Gender or African Diaspora. By juxtaposing and intertwining these two foci, my understanding of the American South — and much more — would be greatly enriched. This innovative and flexible approach to both traditional and non-traditional subject matter is greatly appealing to me. I know by reputation and from a friend currently enrolled in Trinity College that the liberal arts curriculum is very challenging, but also rewarding. I believe I am more than prepared for these challenges, and that I will thrive in this climate. Duke University’s campus already feels like home; I believe that its academic opportunities will also provide a stimulating environment in which I feel I belong. Critique of the Supplemental Essay First, think about the prompt. The admissions officers want to know if there is something in particular at Duke that makes the applicant want to go there. A bad essay never discusses features that are unique to Duke. A good essay gets specific and shows particular knowledge of the school. The sample essay succeeds on this front. Although the essay is just a paragraph long, the author presents three specific features of Duke that make her want to attend: The attractive campus with its Gothic and Southern appealThe flexible nature of the history curriculumThe fact that she has a friend at Duke This last point doesnt matter much in the admissions process, and the writer was correct to mention it only indirectly. She could have made better use of this space by mentioning something on the extracurricular front at Duke that interests her. The first point has moderate importance. Many colleges have impressive Gothic architecture, so the feature isnt unique to Duke. However, the writer connects the campus to her own Southernness. She also demonstrates that she has visited the campus, something that is not true of many applicants who haphazardly apply to a long list of prestigious schools. The second point about the history curriculum is key to this essays success. This applicant knows what lies beneath the universitys surface. She has clearly researched the curriculum. She is not applying to Duke simply because of its beauty or its reputation, but because she likes how the university approaches learning. Avoiding Supplemental Essay Mistakes In general, the author has avoided common  supplemental essay mistakes and written an effective response to the universitys prompt. Admissions officers will certainly take note of the fact that this applicant has done some research and has thoughtful reasons for wanting to attend Duke. If your supplemental essay to the question asking Why Our School? could be applied to numerous schools, you have failed to respond to the prompt effectively. This is not the place to be generic or lazy. Do your research, and articulate the unique reasons why the school is a good match for your interests, personality, and goals. Be sure to give your Why our school? essay the global replacement test: I you can replace the name of the school to which youre applying with the name of another school, its time to do some research and start over again. Write your  supplemental essay  so it is strong, specific, and targeted toward that specific college. Sample Strong Supplemental Essay for College Admissions Most college applicants fail to put adequate time into a supplemental college essay. The Common Applications personal essay allows a student to write a single essay for multiple colleges. The supplemental college essay, however, needs to be different for every application. Thus, its tempting to dash off a generic and vague piece that can be used at multiple schools, resulting in a  weak essay. Dont make this mistake. Your Why This College essay must be specific, demonstrating a high level of interest in and commitment to this particular school. To better understand how to ace this supplemental essay prompt, lets analyze a sample essay written for Oberlin College. The essay prompt reads: Given your interests, values, and goals, explain why Oberlin College will help you grow (as a student and a person) during your undergraduate years. Sample Supplemental Essay I visited 18 colleges over the past year, yet Oberlin is the one place that most spoke to my interests. Early in my college search I learned that I prefer a liberal arts college to a larger university. The collaboration between the faculty and undergraduate students, the sense of community, and the flexible, interdisciplinary nature of the curriculum are all important to me. Also, my high school experience was greatly enriched by the diversity of the student body, and I am impressed by Oberlin’s rich history and its current efforts connected to inclusiveness and equality. To say the least, I’d be proud to say I attended the first coeducational college in the country. I plan to major in Environmental Studies at Oberlin. After my campus tour, I took some extra time to visit the Adam Joseph Lewis Center. It’s an amazing space and the students I chatted with spoke highly of their professors. I became truly interested in issues of sustainability during my volunteer work in the Hudson River Valley, and everything I’ve learned about Oberlin makes it seem the ideal place for me to continue exploring and building upon those interests. I am also impressed by Oberlin’s Creativity and Leadership Project. I’ve been a bit of an entrepreneur ever since second grade when I made a dollar producing and performing The Runaway Bunny for my extended family. I’m drawn to a program that supports the move from classroom learning to creative hands-on, real-world applications. Finally, as the rest of my application clearly demonstrates, music is an important part of my life. I’ve been playing the trumpet since fourth grade, and I hope to continue performing and developing my skills throughout college. What better place than Oberlin to do so? With more performances than days in the year and a large group of talented musicians in the Conservatory of Music, Oberlin is an ideal place for exploring my love of both music and the environment. Understanding the Essay Prompt To understand the strength of the essay, we must first look at the prompt: the admissions officers at Oberlin want you to explain why Oberlin College will help you grow. This sounds straightforward, but be careful. Youre not being asked to explain how  college, in general,  will help you grow, nor are you being asked how attending a small liberal arts school will help you grow. The admissions offers want to hear how  Oberlin, in particular, will help you grow, so the essay needs to include specific information about  Oberlin College. A strong Why This College essay will make a case for why the school in question is a good fit for the student. The case should be made by connecting facts about the school—unique opportunities, educational values, campus culture, et cetera—with the students goals, values, and interests. From the Admissions Desk We want to see [in the Why This School essay] that students understand the unique educational model at High Point University. We know that students have access to more information than ever before and that most colleges focus on the classroom experience. We want students who desire 25% of their time to be experiential ... who want to grow as people of character with strong values and to fully immerse themselves in our life skills education.–Kerr RamsayVice President for Undergraduate Admissions, High Point University A good way to see if youve responded to the prompt well is to swap out the name of the college youre applying to with the name of any other college. If the essay still makes sense once you do a global replace of the school name, you havent written a good supplemental essay. A Critique of the Supplemental Essay The sample essay certainly succeeds on this front. If we were to substitute Kenyon College for Oberlin College in the essay, the essay would not make sense. The details in the essay are unique to Oberlin. Demonstrated interest can play a meaningful role in the admissions process, and this applicant has clearly demonstrated that she knows Oberlin well and her interest in the school is sincere. Lets look at some of the essays strengths: The first paragraph makes several important points. First of all, we learn that the applicant has visited Oberlin. This may not seem like a big deal, but youd be surprised how many students apply to a large number of colleges based on nothing but the schools reputations. Also, the student notes that she wants to go to a  liberal arts college, not a larger  university. This information isnt really specific to Oberlin, but it does show that she has thought about the options available to her. The final point in this first paragraph gets more specific—the applicant is familiar with Oberlin and knows the schools socially progressive history.The second paragraph is really the heart of this essay—the applicant wants to major in Environmental Studies, and she is clearly impressed with the program at Oberlin. She has visited the Environmental Studies building, and she knows of some of the unique opportunities offered at Oberlin. She has even talked with Oberlin students. Thi s paragraph cant help but make a favorable impression on the admissions folks—the applicant is drawn to Oberlin, and she clearly knows exactly  why  she likes Oberlin.The final paragraph adds another important dimension to the application. Not only does the student find the Environmental Studies program attractive, but her love of music makes Oberlin an even better match. Oberlin has a top-rated music conservatory, so the applicants dual love of music and Environmental Studies makes Oberlin a natural match for her. Admissions officers cant help but feel that Oberlin is a great match for this applicant. She knows the school well, and her interests and goals line up perfectly with Oberlins strengths. This short essay will certainly be a positive piece of her application. A Final Word About Supplemental Essays The content of your supplemental essay is extremely important, and poor decisions on this front can lead to a weak supplemental essay. But content isnt everything. You also need to focus on the presentation of your ideas. Make sure your essay is entirely free of any grammatical errors, and be sure to avoid common stylistic problems. The admissions officers need to conclude that you are sincerely interested in attending their school and that you are an excellent writer.